What Have Done to Me?

I mean, well, like I was born in 1940 as a white straight male ( Actually I didn't know I was straight yet). I had one thing going against me, I was Italian. The good thing was that I didn't look Italian, I could pass for a WASP. Of course, the highest on the food chain at that time was a White Straight Wasp Male. I mean that was a 10 out of 10. Ok, I was a 9 out of 10. Not bad!!! Isn't White Wasp redundant?

Then they started doing all those "things"; you know what I mean. They integrated blacks into the Army--one down, then that Jackie Robinson guy came along. You know who I mean, the one that the "Progressive Christian" let play for the Dodgers. Now if I wanted to play baseball I had to compete against "THEM". You know that they have an extra bone in their leg that makes them run faster.

The WASP thing kind of went by the wayside when Kennedy was elected. The seventies came and wouldn't you know it "ladies" started wanting their due. So they put in Title 9, meaning that ladies got as much money in school for sports as did we men. AND, when I went to get a job I had to compete with ladies, blacks, Hispanics and all other kinds. I actually once had a black boss and a "Lady" boss. I had a Greek boss once, but I never let him walk behind me. Oh the horror of it all.

But I held on to one thing for dear life. I was straight and I could marry as many ladies as I wished and get all the attending privileges, . Of course, only one at a time. I basked in that privilege. I am a straight male and only I could get married to a lady. I still had that one advantage.

But as everyone else was agitating, the "other group" started to do the same. I mean I remember that if you "played on the other team", so to speak, you could get beaten up. I had friends that would spend many a delightful Saturday evening doing just that.

They (You must whisper when you speak of them--kind of like when you say Cancer or Jewish) kept agitating and agitating--they wanted to serve openly in the military and to be able to marry one another. We even voted against the marriage thing several times. I assume we would have voted against Blacks in the Army and Ladies getting Title 9 and all. We probably would have voted against ending slavery, if we could have.

The one advantage that I had left was that I was a Straight Male, and they want to take that away too. What are they doing to me? Well this week they finally did it.
( I like it when we refer to "they", some amorphous group that is always trying to do us harm.) A judge in California finally said that (whisper) gays can not be discriminated against. They must be allowed to get married and that the vote against them getting married deprives them of their constitutional rights. It's discriminatory. Well of course its discriminatory. Isn't that the idea. They've wiped out any and all advantages that I've ever had, privileges that I held dear.

I now have to compete with everyone on an equal basis. It’s just not fair. I want my America back!!!! What have they done to me? Wait a minute. I still have one advantage, I’m old . I mean reduced fares on buses and subways--senior fares at movies, etc etc. I have free health care too. They can’t take that away from me, or can they?